FIXATED NOW !!@!!!!!!!!!!!!

I awoke with a clatter at 6 am with my service dog cowering under the bed. My locker box unlocked. Too bad huh? Once again you did not find my meds. crap huh!?!? what your Christmas won’t be so ho ho ho now? how about I Need my meds worse than you NEED to get HIGH and you ain’t the first I raised with Roger 3 siblings then raised a stepdaughter, a son and even two more daughters of my own. Ain’t nothing I have seen. You may want to ask Macon County Current Sheriff what I am known for doing with my own children when he was just a deputy. So let’s discuss lying….not giving up the facts that keep everyone SAFE, is still LYING> BY THE CREATOR LAW NOT MINE.

I have no Idea who is on the other end of my #SAFE LINK #TRACFONE for the #Disabled in #Nevada and IF THE BLOODY THING DOES NOT STOP RINGING THIS MORNING IT MIGHT GET THE FLIPPIN HAMMER BEFORE #NSA gets the phone. ON THE GOVERNMENT CELLS YOU CAN’T EVEN ANSWER THEM IF YOU HAVE LESS THAN 10 MINUTES AND I TOLD YOU ALREADY NEVADAS MODE OF OPERATING SINCE SEPT. HAS BEEN TO JUST RUN YOUR MINUTES OUT CALLING THEIR CIRCLE JERK.

AND THIS MORNING AFTER SECURITY THE HOUSE. NO WONDER I AM IN SCREAMIN DEMON PAIN…I JUST NOW TOOK MY MEDS AND DISCOVERED MY AT 3 AM LOCKED LOCKBOX WHEN ROGER LEFT THE HOUSE FOR HIS TEMP JOB THAT ENDS FRIDAY….TO DISCOVER IT UNLOCKED. BUT THEN AGAIN WE KNOW WHO TOOK THE KEY WHAT WE DON’T KNOW IS LIKE THE HOUSE KEYS…WHO HAS THEM. GEE NOW WHERE IS THE FLIPPIN WORKER THAT SAW ME THE OTHER DAY…..

CUZ I NEED A MINOR DISTRACTION UNTIL MY MEDS KICK IN…MY LOANED CHAIR IS SITTING NEXT TO THE BED CUZ IT IS OUT OF JUICE. (THOUGH I DID GET AN INTERESTING TEXT THE OTHER DAY STATING THE LOCAL AMERICAN LEGION OR VFW WOULD BE WILLING TO GET ME AN ELECTRIC RECLINING CHAIR FOR DAYS LIKE THESE) WHERE TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, THE SOCIAL DOCTOR WHO TESTED ME FOR PTSD SAID IT BLEW HIS MIND WHAT A MEMORY I HAVE FOR WHAT I SEE. PICTURE TAKING KINDA MEMORY AND CONVERSATIONS TOO. SO I AM FIXATED ON WANTING TO BITE HER FLIPPIN HEAD OFF…AS I HOLD THE WALL TRYING TO GET THRU THE HOUSE TO FINALLY TAKE MORNING MEDS AT 10 AM…..AND GOT 2 SCARED SERVICE DOGS AND MY ELDERLY NEIGHBOR CALLING AND I CAN’T EVEN WALK ENOUGH TO DAY TO GET TO HER HOUSE AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE TEXT….TO MAKE SURE MISS AVIS IS ALRIGHT. I AM FIXATED ON I JUST WANT A HEAD THAT IS WORTHY OF GETTING BITEN OFF FOR A SECOND AND FOR PURELY SELFISH REASONS…TO JUST NOT BE THINKING HOW BAD I GOTT TO PEE AND HOW MUCH IT IS GONNA HURT TO GET FROM HERE TO THERE WALKIN….LIKE I SAID EACH FLIPPIN STEP SINCE MAY AND DYING YOUR HAIR DID NOT CHANGE YOUR FACE.

I AM DISABLED WITH MAJOR PAIN ISSUES TO SAY THE VERY LEAST. WHOM HAS HAD HER BUTT SHOVELED INTO EVERY IMAGINABLE CRACK IN THIS SYSTEM FROM ONE COAST TO THE FLIPPIN OTHER. I AM SO SICK OF HEARING WELL A VETERAN DOCTOR…HELLO….HERES A MIRACLE FOR CHRISTMAS….I AM STILL ALIVE….. I HAVE SSA AND SSI AND ORIGINAL MEDICARE AND I AM FED UP.

I AM GONNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL SO ANY ONLINE SCHOOLS THAT WILL TEACH ME WHATEVER DEGREE I NEED FOR CYBER SECURITY AND #NSA ONLINE ON FASFA ONLY CUZ I 23 LATER STILL BETWEEN THE TWO LIVE ON A TOTAL INCOME OF NEXT MONTH (OF COURSE) 660 SSA PLUS 80 SSI. YUP LIVE ON 740 PER MONTH TRY….I DARE YOU. AND EVERY TINY THING THAT HELPED YOU BE ABLE TO DO IT AND NOT DO ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL THINGS TO FEED YOUR KIDS …A bush CUT.

AND OUR GOVERNMENT WANTED TO TEACH RUSSIAN EDUCATED PEOPLE HOW A DEMOCRACY WORKS AND SHUT THE GOVERNEMENT DOWN THE DAY THEY ARRIVE? ALL OF BUSH’S SIGNED SEALED AND DELIVERED BILLS ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR….WERE SET IN STONE TILL THE NEW FISCAL YR OF 2014…..NOW DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND WHY OUR GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN? WHY 7 STATES WERE AFFECTED, NOT TO MENTION THEIR PARENTS AND EMPLOYMENTS, WITH NO PRESCHOOL …CUT….BUT WE JUSTIFIED ON THE SAME DAY 8 MILLION TO BRING ALL THOSE EDUCATED PEOPLE OVER TO SHOW THEM HOW DEMOCRACY WORKS.

AMERICA HAS GOTTEN ARROGANT…..NOW SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO STEP UP AND ONE BY ONE FIX WHAT HAS BEEN BROKE FOR A LONG LONG TIME…..AND I GUESS WHEN I EMAILED THE LAST BUSH IN 06 AFTER GG NORSEWORTHY COMMITTED SUICIDE WITH HIS ADMINSTRATIONS CUT IN MENTAL HEALTH AND MEDICINES SO ALL HIS MEDS GOT PULLED IN A DAY AND THE NEW GUY LEXAPRO WHO LINED SOMEONE’S POCKET IS WHAT HE GOT PUT ON…22 DAYS LATER HE COMMITTED SUICIDE WITH A SHOTGUN HIS DAD THE PREACHER BROUGHT DOWN…BUT HIS 2 BROTHERS WERE IN HOMELAND SECURITY IN DIFFERENT BRANCHES OF THE MILITARY…SO THEY HAD ME INVESTIGATED? YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE THINGS AND DETAILS I REMEMBER. AND IF YOU ASK WHO I WORKED UNDER AT MCAS CHERRYPIONT WHEN I WAS A CIVILIAN AND HE WAS MY MILITARY BOSS….EVEN BACK THEN WHEN I DRANK LIKE A MARINE, DETAILS I REMEMBER.

AND SO EVERYONE IS CLEAR. I WENT INTO HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT WITH RECLAIMING MY NATIVE NAME AND DENOUNCE ONE OF THE TWO BIRTH CERTS IN CA ON ME. IN 1960 WHEN YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF INCEST IN A CATHOLIC HOUSEHOLD IT WAS A MIRACLE THAT ONE OF MY GRANDFATHERS BROTHERS WAS A CARDINAL BISHOP AND I DID GET BAPTISTED CATHOLIC. HALF BREED AND PRODUCT OF INCEST BACK THEN DID NOT GET BAPTISTED. ANYHOW I CHANGE MY NAME WHEN I NEED TO DO MY OWN INVESTIGATION IN MY ONLY SON’S DEATH, BY HIS AA SPONSOR ON THE RUN FROM COURT ORDERS ON PEDOPHILE CHARGES IN FLA. AND I MOVED RIGHT NEXT DOOR. CHECK MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER NEVER CHANGED BUT NOW I BELIEVE THAT MUST BE CHANGED CUZ APPARENTLY THE WORLD KNOWS IT AND USES IT AND I AM STILL WAITING ON MAYS SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS TO REAPPEAR AND BY THE WAY JUST HAD INCIDENT WITH WALMARTS GOLD CARD AND SOMEONE WAS BLEEDING 4.98 EVERY COUPLE DAYS AND THAT IS WHERE I WENT WHEN I STILL HAVE GOTTEN MAYS CHECKS IN WELLS FARGO…I WILL REUSE THAT ACCOUNT WHEN I KNOW IT IS SECURE AGAIN. AND BY THE WAY I AM DIVORCED THE ACCOUNT I OPENED DID NOT HAVE THE LAST NAME YOU PUT ON MY CARDS WHICH MAY BE WHY YOU CANT FIND MY CHECKS. TRY LOOKING WITHOUT ST. AMANT. MY SOCIAL SECURITY NEVER HAS HAD THAT NAME ON IT. SO I NEVER ACTIVATED THE NEW CARD CUZ IT IS NOT IN MY NAME.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH PTSD WHEN YOU GROW UP IN UTTER FEAR AND BEING MADE TO BE THE ADULT AT AGE 5.

SO ONCE I GET A RECLINING ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL ON FASFA FOR GOVERNMENT CYBER SECURITY.

TOLD YA MY MIND REMEMBERS WILD THINGS,. LIKE MY AUNT DENISE’S DID BEFORE MY MOTHER FRIED HER BRAIN WITH ELECTRIC SHOCK TREATMENTS. BUT MY MOTHER WAS BROKEN ALONG LONG TIME AGO.

AND AS FOR DID I LIVE IN ANY OF THOSE AREAS UNTIL 62…YOU MAY HAVE TO ASK HER..I REMEMBER MOVING ALL THE TIME CUZ HER OWN PARENTS CALLED WELFARE ON HER. SO THERE IS MY #SayWhat!?!?! Rant….from what they are missin’ a Grandmother…yup I am applying….laughing.

oh thank you Creator, I was interrupted by Miss Avis checking on me at the door. so at least I know she is ok. one thing down and meds finally kicking in….now messages are just disappearing off my phone….wondering if it has anything to do with how I woke up the hearing the door that now needs slammed to shut….

Life on lifes terms….Justicy with mercy as I pray for myself. I am not even gonna proof this so here is it RAW.

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