February 19th, 12 years of MUCH sorrow, time for action.

To be perfectly Honest…this is the hardest time of the year for me. Actually, it starts with Thanksgiving and meanders through out the holiday season. This tends to be one holiday that so many are happiest, yet it has been a great time of sorrow for me. This very week actually, more tragedies have occurred between Feb. 13 to Feb 19; consistently thru the years than any other block of time in my life. So I wish to discuss that and one other thing, the difference between sharing a gift and fortune telling.

Many have the misunderstanding they have and believe I am a fortune teller. Trust me I am NOT a fortune teller, in any sense of the term. By my understanding, paying for the service such as some big names would have you to do, it is what makes it fortune telling. My pet peeve is; Some Famous messengers, whom I respect and admire and truly believe are gifted; do by definition fall into the fortune telling category; with the whole ‘I will help you for a $1 a minute or $4.99 a minute or $750.oo for 15 minutes on a phone call with me) Pick a version of the Bible, Torah, or any other spiritual text and read what they define as a fortune teller. A Gift is a Gift, a gift from our Creator should Not be used for personal gain. PERIOD> all the texts say IF YOU DO THIS THEN it is fortune telling. I don’t tell fortunes…I give messages; exactly as I get the message, to the person the message is for. There have been many times that I had no idea, what the message I was being asked to hand to a stranger; even meant. But they did. Guess that is ALL that really counts. I have walked a humble path, a path of taking the higher ground whenever I am able and honestly sometimes I do not want to. I remind folks that I am not going for sainthood. I am merely a praying woman that walks in her faith in every area of her life. I make lots of mistakes and will own everyone of them. Took each one to make me the woman that I choose to be today. In native ways, giving tobacco is a sign of respect and the proper way of asking an Elder to assist you somehow, where it be thru prayers, thru sweat lodge, thru ways of medicine. Anything else is a gift offering, that is gifted if the person being helped feels you helped them, and it is based on what they believe they can afford, so do not be offended if it is just a smile today, or a couple of chickens for your coupe. It is what is what the receiving party feels is fair. Those that have do and those that don’t also don’t worry about it since we live in circles and know ALL things come full circle.

This makes it very difficult to go work for anyone else even online since my ethics do not fit into their business model. But what I know to be the truth, it fits into God our Creator’s model. So please stop recruiting me for fortune telling. I pass on the messages I get when I get them… because I walk in my faith….even when I can not see the stair case.

In the past, this week I usually hide out in life. I have had more surgeries, doctors apt dates for valentines day, it is too funny. But I have had other tragedies, too such as the one below:

This was the first step of how I learned of my son. To me, I never thought it was my son. Not then.
This was the first step of how I learned of my son. To me, I never thought it was my son. Not then.

I knew the day my son was born I would only have him 21 years. In a Hospital chapel at Ft Belvoir, I ‘heard’ my son would live not to worry. But I would have him 21 years but only 21 years; on that day in 1981 it was a true blessing to my ears. But 19 years later when his best friend Ryan past away the week of his birthday in Jan., I started spending time with his mom. Months past and finally she asked why I was still there helping her, even her family did not bother anymore yet like clockwork I was there trying to help her. Why? So 19 years I carried the knowing of my only son’s death and when it would be to myself. The heaviest burden I have carried by far, to date. Finally, I confided in this new found friend whom had just been an acquaintance till then. It would be years later she confessed to me that after I told what I ‘knew’ of my own son’s death that she daily started praying that for once I would be wrong. Ironically her son passed away during the week of my son’s birthday and my son passed away during what would have been her son’s birthday week. So I always think of him as well and one other young man now who just turned 33.

So please know if I past on a message to you, there was no expectation ….all gift offerings are accepted, but they do not buy any kind of endorsements with me. I do the right thing whenever I can…..merely because it is the Right thing to do…and I can.

I work for Creator, God of my own misunderstanding, trying to #BeTheChange I want to see in our communities. I pray and pass on messages, the way I get them…even when it means I will get a funny look or rude comment. Not my part of the equation…mine is just be willing to be the hollow bone and deliver the message as given. AND YES even when I do NOT want to.

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