What is means to be American Indian Christian in Todays World

I sit here wondering and groaning out to my Creator, God of my own misunderstanding. …not to mention crying, Why, Why, Oh my Lord WHY?

I have tried to start 3 online businesses since last August so that maybe I could afford to live….Heck I can’t even afford to die! I have towed every government agency line….reporting everything to each one and honestly, no less. What have I gotten for this?

I have helped every lost cause case God sent my way. Even other people that I knew had bad Intentions and they have sent a lost or hopeless cause my way. Just to try and sidetrack me. Yet, I opened my doors and helped the lost causes, fed the hungry when I had nothing to be feeding anyone else. Put shoes that were new and gifted to me on someone else’s feet because they obviously needed them more. And what has been my repayment here on earth?

I have been honest to my own detriment even. Those that know me well will tell you just how honest I am…. if only you show me enough respect to bother to ask me, you will get an honest answer from me. What has this gotten me?

And some can see in my Facebook page of 4/14/15 high school pics of me and my track record even then while in utter turmoil for a home life, that I cared and what I cared ABOUT and still Do! But what has this gotten me?

I have dealt with alcoholics, addicts and even lying and thieving family. And of course, who do they Always throw under the bus? Of course the one that is honest and helping them personally.  What has this gotten me? No family.

But when I was sent across the country and helping others along the way is when I really started not liking two leggeds!  Ashamed even to be one today. What has all of this gotten me? Heartbroken more than anyone will ever know.

Nothing here on Mother Earth…. nothing but more heart ache and taken advantage of by every conceivable self centered and self righteous jerk walking and talking or online.

So while I have had my entire life hacked apart and every bit of my personal info stolen and used. I can’t use it! I know there is so much irony in there. ….but for the life of me. I am crying out to my Creator,  God of my own misunderstanding. …..WHY WHY IN THE NAME OF THECHRISTED ONE, IS THIS HAPPENING?

I was not intending to be a saint…. I was merely going for becoming a decent Human BEING in a very uncomfortable vehicle called this body. I was going for being Part of the #Solutions and for that my whole life has been dismantled and hacked. Ironically who ever wants to can apparently use my info even though they can’t prove they are me….. and yet I can’t .

I have been trying to untangle my life from another family members and in the interim I can’t get answers from the Bank of America on new accounts I opened…. And the 2 to 5 biz days for my permanent bank cards still are not in and I applied on March 31st. Heck even the 7 to 10 days if they had not been expedited has come and gone. And I have been homeless since April 2nd. Today is tax day, April 15th. No answers. I was pre approved for a small credit card of $500 with $99 secured. They can’t tell me anything on that except it was cancelled on April 2nd. They can’t even tell me by whom! So there went my fragile trust in our banking system of America.  3 online businesses vanished as soon as they got my money. Kitsy lane, IPas and IPas2 and then Vemma/GPS changed to VBS….like  I said as soon as they got my money and attached my accounts. In my little Penny world it IS A HUGE DEAL TO ME….ESPECIALLY WHEN THE BANK CAN’T ANSWER QUESTIONS!

Even family has made my info vulnerable by giving it away to ex spouses and kids. But heck, even 2 of my own daughters has done such things to me.

Faith….Faith in humans? Faith in our banks? Faith in online businesses? Faith in our goverment? Faith in our law officials? Nope…..they have robbed me of all they could!

Only FAITH I HAVE LEFT CAN’T BE DUPPED NOR STOLEN….

ONLY FAITH I HAVE LEFT IS IN OUR CREATOR, GOD OF MY OWN MISUNDERSTANDING AND THE CHRISTED ONE. All y’all CAN’T steal that!  It is the gift of Grace from God himself.

But all y’all have me in fight or flight mode, AGAIN, so you can smile abd chuckle while you read this.

BUT KNOW THIS, I MAY HAVE GOTTEN THE SHORT END OF THE DEAL HERE ON MOTHER EARTH but I will be the ONE WAVING AT YOU FROM HEAVEN as you go wherever the Creator sees fit.

I should have kept heading to Michigan….worse that could have happened is I may have gotten caught up in the tornado in Illinois. …..today that isn’t sounding like such a bad option.

I have Too good of a heart and spirit to be here trying to help others.

That is what I get for honorably walking the red road and being  a decent Human Being…..maybe I am going for sainthood and just didn’t get the snail mail nor email. Even that been getting hacked or opened before I get to view it.

I am a woman walkin in faith, in a world filled with demons. I am ready to just jump in my truck and drive till the tires fall off and live right there. If I am lucky.,,,, there won’t be any family, banks, or two leggeds wherever I land. Just animals, they wither like you because they sense your spirit or don’t like you. And even unlike the Angels….they CAN’T lie,

I am done helping others and questioning God still….,WHY? Now I know how Mother Teresa must have felt. ….

My advice: Do not bother Trying to be honorable or decent. And God forbid, do not tell the truth. ….it only makes you a victim in this ugly world.  And I am over it.

I forgive all y’all. …. the rest is between you and God of your own misunderstanding. I can’t even say I will pray for anyone anymore. …..are y’all happy now? You have done well at making my life a tormented one and it WON’T be me YOU have to answer to for those ACTIONS. May the Creator have mercy on your soul!

Womanwalkininfaith

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